Happy Wednesday, ladies! I hope you’re all having a wonderful week – and since I’m pre-writing this one, I hope I am too! ;P Anyway, today I wanted to talk about another great book I read! This one was my goal to read in January, it took a little longer because I got so busy with this trip. But I’m happy to say I still finished it in time for this post – and totally loved it! The book is The Like Switch by Jack Schafer, with Marvin Karlins, both PhDs. It’s like Dale Carnegie met James Bond and they wrote a book. So if you liked my last review or James Bond, then you might just like this book!

The Like Switch // JACK SCHAFER, Ph.D. & MARVIN KARLINS, Ph.D.

THE LIKE SWITCH

The Like Switch is primarily written, or at least told by, Dr. Jack Schafer, who is a former FBI agent who specialized in behavioral analysis. Criminal Minds fans have now perked up a bit, but as Schafer tells it, it’s not quite the same. Or at least, the stories he told for the sake of this book are not along those lines. But they are more along the lines of your favorite spy movie.

Like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, the title is a little off-putting – well, the subtitle is: “An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over.” But like I said in my review of How to Win Friends, the title may be accurate but it’s way less sleazy than it sounds. The same holds true for The Like Switch.

As a super introverted person, and probable wear-er of the “urban scowl,” I super appreciated this book because it takes literally all the courage and energy I have in my body to go and introduce myself to someone. Like, when I went to meet my now-adviser I actually had to spend some serious time building up courage (like, weeks). Despite being really inspired and encouraged by the meeting, I had to go home and nap afterward. Such a simple normal part of human interaction totally zaps me.

The main thing The Like Switch teaches is how to use your body language to get people to want to meet you first. I have to say, I have knowingly used these tricks before. They work and are much less exhausting than trying too soon and the build up is much less stressful. BUT I didn’t know there were so many more tips and tricks to help make it easier. And Schafer goes in depth into other aspects of social interaction that make building relationships much easier and less stressful.

FAVORITE BITS

• Pgs. 1-4: These pages talk about the story of a foreign diplomat that the FBI wanted to make a spy for the United States (remember how I said this is like reading your favorite spy movie?). This story is so good. It really shows how to use a few simple behaviors to inspire someone to want to meet you. Of course, the end goal was a little shady for every day use. BUT if you are a fellow member of Introverts Anonymous, it’s really cool.
• Pgs. 77-80: These pages cover empathetic statements. I talk in general all the time about empathy, how important it is, and I try to embody it. But Schafer shares a really simple formula for constructing a statement that is empathetic, even when you feel a loss for words – which totally happens all the time.
• Chapter 7: So there were two whole chapters that I really enjoyed and want to keep in mind to flip back through. The first was Chapter 7: Nurturing and Sustaining Long-Term Relationships. I really liked this chapter because Schafer goes into depth about a few key tricks that help you dial back emotional reactions that can damage relationships, in addition to sharing tricks for improving relationships. He also covers a few different personality types and the kinds of behaviors they exhibit which might be causing friction and how to remedy them.
• Chapter 8: The last chapter I felt it was super appropriate to share since this is a digital platform is Chapter 8: The Perils and Promise of Relationships in a Digital World. Schafer does focus on romantic relationships, but the principles apply to any kind. I really like this chapter because it helps you navigate a world free of body language. There are tips for evaluating honesty, building rapport, and making sure you come across as you intended.

IS IT FOR YOU?

I said How to Win Friends was for everyone, and I still truly believe that. I think the market for The Like Switch is slightly smaller, but still most people would enjoy and benefit from it.

Particularly, if you’re a #Girlboss just getting out there – this book would be SO useful. Even if you’re not super introverted, meeting a ton of people and networking can be really difficult. You can get so much more out of networking if you prime your interactions to make them run smoothly and happily every time. The Like Switch could help.

I’m an introvert, so I know how helpful this book is for introverts. But it’s also helpful for extroverts, in part because Schafer actually spends considerable time talking about how extroverts can best interact with introverts which tends to be a more tense interaction. But also extroverts will benefit from the discussions on deepening relationships and ensuring people don’t feel overwhelmed or put-off by your social energy.

Also, if you just like spy movies and think that whole crime genre is kind of fun, you’ll probably enjoy this because it’s a real-life insight.

What do you think? Is The Like Switch on your to-read list?

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