3 WAYS TO BE THE WORST BLOGGER

May 31, 2017

Happy Wednesday, ladies! There’s a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately. And that’s the difference between being a good blogger and a bad blogger. What I’ve learned is that to err is human, and so is to be busy. So if you think you’ll never be forgiven for missing a few posts or being radio silent on social media for a week will kill you and your blog, you’re wrong. Inconsistency and not checking your emails won’t kill you, it might hurt business a little – but the surprising news is most businesses understand that blogging often isn’t your only work. No, if you want to be the worst blogger ever, not answering emails in a timely matter won’t get you there. But these things will…

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LIE TO, BELITTLE, OR TALK DOWN TO OTHER BLOGGERS

Alright, so step one to being the worst blogger ever is to absolutely never support other bloggers. They are your competition. But hey, if they’re dumb enough to support you, let them! It’s totally fine to make promises to other bloggers that you fully intend to renege on. Liars always win. Also, if any blogger ever dares to call you out, take them down right then and there. A good digital tongue lashing has never come back to haunt anyone. And if they still don’t listen, spread some nasty rumors about them to the ones who still have your ear.

Up and coming bloggers are not competition, you’re so far above their ranks you can squash them in a second. But keep your eye on them anyway. You want to make sure to let them know who is boss if they ever start getting any traction.

Finally, be super careful what you say. You never want to accidentally let slip your tricks of the trade. Remember, your readers can only follow one blogger and your career depends on that blogger being you. Never, ever offer help. Unless it’s paying more than your latest collab. But even then, don’t give all the secrets. Just enough to keep them busy for the next six months to a year. Then rinse and repeat, and rake it in, baby. 😉

IGNORE WHAT YOUR READERS WANT

Let me tell you something really important – your readers don’t know what they want. You tell them what they want. Never, ever, ever check your analytics to see what posts perform well. Why waste time on that, you need to be focusing on accepting collabs (see below).

Also, never use a call to action or ask your readers questions. Unless they’re rhetorical so readers know how dumb they are and how great you are for teaching them the ropes. Remember, you are the ultimate authority figure in your blog. This is not a community, this is a bible. Demand your readers take you for your word.

DO IT FOR THE MONEY & SWAG

Bloggers get tons of cool sh*t, so if you want to be the worst blogger, you have to make sure you get all of it and the money, too. Who cares if it’s a good fit for your niche or your readers? If you want it, you should have it. So never say no. Good bloggers reject like 90% of the pitches they get. They could easily be making a living off of product alone if they quit rejecting them, right?

Oh, and while you’re at it… I mean, you don’t want to damage your credibility so people stop buying right? So just skip those FTC guidelines. All those #ad and #spon posts do is make readers not want to buy from you – and you need that affiliate cash. It’s what you came for! No one ever gets caught for skipping that stuff anyway. You’ll be fine, and the industry will totally thrive despite your money-making rule breaking! Now get out there and rule them all!

So are you ready to be the worst blogger ever? Or, you can be the best by not doing these things. Get more blogging resources to be a good blogger in this post! And share your favorite ways to be the worst (or best) blogger ever in the comments below!